Sleepless Nights
by Adept Nereus
Summary: And with that thought everything shattered. The hope that had blossomed somewhere next to his heart darkened and died. Matthew couldn't possibly see him the same way. Normal boys don't like other boys.


**Warning: **BoyxBoy themes and so on. Don't read it if this makes you uncomfortable.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Golden Sun or the characters, plot, abilities etc.

**Author's Note**

So this is my first attempt at writing a story and posting it online. I've been writing for myself for quite a while, but I've never actually submitted anything for others to read. I'm always looking to improve my writing, and I'm really hoping that all of you other authors here can help me with that. So reviews and constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. I greatly enjoyed writing this story, so I hope you all enjoy reading it. Matthew and Rief just seem so perfect together to me, and I found that I just had to write something about them. There seems to be a lack of this pairing online, and I definitely think that there should be more. I think I'm planning on a second chapter, but there's no guarantee yet.

**Sleepless Nights**

Rief straightened his glasses as he looked down his nose at the pages before him. The pages, his open journal, were currently being treated to another blank stare as the water adept drifted about, lost in thought. This had become a habit as of late it seemed. He would check out several times during the day: his eyes acquiring that far-off glaze as his mind raced away. Luckily, none of his friends had appeared to take note.

The blue-haired boy flipped a few pages listlessly, his breath gusting out in a heavy sigh. Rief had become distracted. He sat on the roof of the newest small town's inn, his hair glowing ever so slightly in the light of the moon. This was his third sleepless night in a row. It seemed his thoughts didn't care if he slept. They were determined to keep him conscious, thinking and worrying.

And so once again he had swung his legs off of his bed and stood up. Then, he had pulled on his outer robe and crept to the door. Pulling it open quietly, he winced as the squeak of a floorboard sawed loudly through the somber night's silence. Rief had frozen in place and just listened. The last thing he wanted was to rouse his friends from their slumber. When the boy was satisfied that he had woken no one, he had moved out into the hall. He stole down the corridor quietly and opened the window over the roof below.

And that's how he had come to be sitting on the apex of the inn's slate-shingled roof, his back resting against the brick chimney leading into the common room below. He had sat down and pulled the small, white-bound book from his belt: a pen had been inked, and Rief had filled several pages with his neat, slender script; funneling the storm of thoughts that whipped about his head down into the hand that moved against the page. He had eventually stopped his writing, and now Rief was just staring off into the shadows.

_Matthew. _Rief sighed again, his shoulders falling slightly. His keen blue eyes, usually dancing with the light of some deep observation, were unfocused; set with a sorrowfully forlorn look. He let the small book fall closed as his arms slowly sank to his sides. His earth-manipulating, blond friend was the reason for all of Rief's mental discomfort, a fact that Matthew was not directly responsible for or even aware of. No, Rief was the one who had created the current situation.

It had started simply enough. Rief had only been curious. Rief was always curious. So of course he was curious about the other Adepts when he first joined the group. Sure, he had heard stories about them and their parents from his mother; Mia was also a Warrior of Vale and a close friend to Isaac in particular, but he still didn't know much about who they were. Their personalities and their motivations were a mystery to him.

And so Rief had gotten to work. He put every scrap of his burgeoning intellect to the task of finding out more about them. Tyrell had been easy to understand. He was a simple person with simple explanations. Karis too had been easy to understand. Not because she was simple, but because she was so complex. The Jupiter Adept also possessed a quite-gifted mind, and the two thought a lot alike. Rief had seen her studying him, much like he was studying her. But Matthew was a different matter altogether.

Rief found the older boy fascinating. He had instantly bonded with the leader of their group. Matthew was even more soft-spoken then he was himself, and the tall teenager was incredibly deep. He was often lost in thought, and he had the most interesting insight into a multitude of things. Matthew always considered his words carefully, and Rief loved having conversations with him; things just felt so _right _when they were together. And then one day Rief was forced to confront a new idea.

They had just left Ayuthay, and everyone was adjusting to the presence of the newest addition to their group: the Mercury-wielding prince, Amiti. They were camping in the middle of the forest near the edge of a lake, spreading their bedrolls directly on the open ground to enjoy the warmth and comfort of the clear summer evening. Rief had wandered down to the very edge of the water to be alone. They had all seen what _he_ was capable of in battle. And Rief felt useless. Amiti was faster and stronger than he was, and his attack spells seemed to be more powerful as well. Rief sat under a tree by the water's edge and wrapped his arms around his knees.

He sat there for over an hour, mentally berating himself and wishing that he were stronger. The sky was painted red with the rays of a dying sun when finally Matthew announced his presence. He walked down to the edge of the water and sat beside Rief. The smaller boy lifted his forehead from his knees and glanced uneasily at Matthew, looking away quickly. He raised an eyebrow when the earth adept slowly flicked one finger up and then out. A pebble rose from the ground and shot off along the surface of the water while Matthew remained silent. Rief straightened his limbs and fixed his gaze on the ground by his feet.

"I saw how upset you were earlier." Matthew finally said, his voice sending a jolt straight up Rief's spine. "You aren't any less important because _he's_ with us now. I wanted to make sure you knew I felt that way. You aren't useless."

Rief's eyes widened as he raised his head to meet Matthew's gaze. The blond boy knew him well enough to know exactly how he was feeling. And he was saying that Rief wasn't a useless burden. His eyes moistened and he looked away. He still felt inadequate, and suddenly Matthew shifted against the tree. He brought his right arm up and put it around Rief's narrow shoulders: the boy tensed and a bright flush spilled across his pale face. He nervously pushed his glasses back up his nose, his hand shaking ever so slightly. Matthew pulled him closer and Rief found himself pressed tightly against his leader's torso. His whole body went tense before his eyes began darting back and forth, confusion and fear mixing with the first few tears that fell.

The soft fabric of Matthew's scarf brushed against Rief's cheek and he just let go. His tears stopped falling after a minute, but the boy's entire body began to tremble. All of his fears and uncertainties were raging through him at the same time, and, if not for Matthew, Rief would have been swept away to drown in the current. For a while it was all Rief could do to hold on. His forehead was pressed hard against Matthew's shoulder, while his right hand desperately clutched the front of his leader's jacket.

They sat there like that for a while, Rief quivering and Matthew soothing, and before long the smaller boy's tremors died down. The tension slowly left Rief's body and he relaxed against Matthew. As soon as his thoughts stopped racing, Rief realized how warm the other boy was. And as that warmth seeped into his frame, suddenly he felt something new.

Now, Rief had been hugged before; by his mother and a few of the elderly citizens in Imil. And then there was that time during the Winter Festival when he'd been grabbed by one of the bolder village girls. So Rief knew what it felt like to be embraced, but this time, with Matthew, there was something there that he just couldn't place. A sort of, uneasiness, inside of his chest: It was like a hand was grasping his heart, squeezing and forcing it to beat faster and harder. The lightness came next, making him feel faint and happy and content and… He didn't know what.

It wasn't until weeks later that Rief began to understand what else the hug had made him feel. Rief was lying on his back on top of his bedroll, up late again thinking, when he finally realized his feelings towards Matthew. His eyes widened and a small "Oh." slipped out into the darkness of his tent. Everything fell into place as he turned this newfound fact around in his head. He was in love with Matthew. The blue-haired boy was amazed at how sudden it all was. Weren't people supposed to know each other for years before they felt this way? He had only just met Matthew a few months ago, and apparently he was already utterly smitten. His mind raced ahead, excited by the many new possibilities that began laying themselves out before him.

Rief let out a wry little laugh when he stumbled upon the problem. Matthew, like Rief himself, was a boy. And with that thought everything shattered. The hope that had blossomed somewhere next to his heart darkened and died. Matthew couldn't possibly see him the same way. Normal boys don't like other boys. He clasped his arms tightly around his chest and he cried. He cried, and this time Matthew wasn't there to comfort him. This time Rief was alone. The tears just kept coming and soon his blanket was soaked. He had buried his face into his bedroll so as to muffle his sobs; no use in waking his friends just so that they could pity him. And of course they would ask what was wrong, but there's no way that he could tell them. He couldn't let them know how he felt.

And suddenly, with the raucous screech of a nearby owl, Rief was jolted from his reverie and found himself back on the rooftop. His head snapped up and he reexamined his surroundings. The moon was no longer visible, its soft light having been obscured by near-invisible clouds. Rief could sense the water in the sky. He could feel the rain coming, but he sat still against the chimney shaft.

His eyes were closed when he heard it start. Rief looked up as he made out the quiet rustling noise that always ushered in the rain. Casting a spell to keep the water from his journal, Rief stood and turned his nose to the sky as the rain finally overtook him.


End file.
